* What do you need from my heart to support yours? *
Hello my caring friend,
How have you been? Have you traveled anywhere this week? Are you mourning something or celebrating yourself or… both? What happened for you on this last bit of the journey and what do you need from my heart to support yours?
My heart feels strong today, even though my mind is weary and asking for a lot of its energy. It was one of those weeks where you’re led to revisit the past, whether you’re excited about it or not, and it took a lot from my system. But I’m here now. Safe, with you, on this page, in this everlasting now, surrounded by flowers and supported by a coffee, a table and a chair. I made it back. I made it home.
And something stood out for me in a vibrant way while I was listening to Brooke Castillo and her invaluable self-coaching podcast. She mentioned that questioning our worth is not only unhelpful but that, in her belief system, it’s not even allowed. Yes, allowed. She mentioned that our worth is not up for debate or even consideration. And I was awed.
Our worth IS. It just is. I realized I believe that.
Life doesn’t make mistakes. Life doesn’t make good and bad humans or flowers or things. Life creates. And all creations are good, holy and worthy. Those are my words, not hers, but they come from the deeper part of me and that’s how I know that’s what she meant. Because that’s how truth feels.
* Questioning our worth is not only unhelpful, it’s not even allowed. *
Can you feel it too?
Sit with those words please…
We don’t get to decide whether we’re worthy or not. It’s NOT UP TO US!
It’s not up for debate. No. We don’t get to decide if we’re worthy or not, we only get to decide what we do with our worthiness. Do we use it to show up for our dreams, to show up for ourselves, to show up for the world and each other? Or do we overlook it, disparage it, negate it, in a false attempt at humility that is actually rooted in self-denial and self-hatred?
This question matters so much my dear friend. It really does. Because we spend so much time stuck on the spectrum of feeling like we are way too much or never near enough… We all do it in some way—be it at work, with our loved ones, with our passions, with our gifts. We question if we’re allowed to be who we are and how inconvenient our beingness can be. We do not see that it is the most beautiful offering one can surrender to others…
Our light, our heart, our being. That’s the treasure we represent. The stillness that holds our core steady. The love that warms our soul when it gets dark and scary. The flow from which our dreams are born and our creative energy freed. That’s what the world needs, that’s how we help, that’s how we heal.
* Our worth is not up to debate *
Our worth is not up to debate: We don’t deserve any mistreatment, ever! because we’re worthy. We deserve all the love and beauty that surround us, because we’re worthy. Our dreams deserve to come true, because we’re worthy. Our nightmares deserve to be alchemized into empowering stories, because we’re worthy. We deserve to treat ourselves with kindness and respect and loving care, because we’re worthy. We deserve to treat others like our brothers and sisters, because we’re worthy. We deserve to walk this Earth and to care reverently for Nature, because we’re worthy. We deserve to stand for justice and march for peace, because we’re worthy. We deserve to give out love and to receive it, because we’re worthy. We’re WORTHY. You are worthy! I am worthy. This is not up for debate anymore—and turns out it never was.
And once again it matters so much, because without connecting to our self-worth we have no chance at self-connection. And if we don’t connect to ourselves, we cannot connect to our dreams… And if we don’t connect to our dreams, we feel lost and alone on a giant lonely ball, dancing in a whole lot of nothingness among stars that we will never reach.
* WE ARE WORTHY *
Our dreams are what keeps us safe and on the path that is ours to create down here. I’m sure of it. We’ve been told that we’re meant to answer the call of the world and to go where we’re needed, but I believe that is a misguided interpretation of reality.
Because we’re all needed everywhere. Everyone needs us. Every cause needs us. Every story can use us. Every tragedy needs a martyr. We’re all needed everywhere, so being needed is not what allows us to know where we should be.
What matters is not where we are needed, what matters is where we are awaited. Indeed we’re all needed everywhere but we’re only truly being called to be somewhere. And in that specific place and time, anyone could help but only YOU can bring the magic that is needed and awaited. And if you’re busy helping somewhere else, you’re not where only you could have healed… yourself, others, this world. (It’s all the same, we’re all connected).
Our dream is our divine assignment and why we were born, I believe this with every fiber of my being. Our dreams matter this much. Your dream matters more than anything you will ever do or say in response to the culture’s screams.
Screams are created by fear, our dreams were shaped by love. And the only answer to fear that can ever work is love.
* What matters is not where we are needed,
what matters is where we are awaited. *
I always knew that dreams matter. That’s what saved me. That’s what nursed me in the dark when I was a tiny human without the skill or strength to escape mistreatment. That’s what kept my heart opened when I was told repeatedly that evil was breathing me and that no one on this planet could be trusted or loved.
That’s what woke me up from every lonely night, with the will to believe that this day would be different, and that if not that day the one after that, or the one after… that the best was still to come, that good not only existed but was the only force that is actually REAL. My dream saved me. So I always kept it hidden in my heart where no one could crush it, not even me.
However, I didn’t know I mattered! So I didn’t know serving my dream was a thing. I thought dreams were just that, dreams, and that it couldn’t be worth more than the one carrying it—and, in my mind? I was worth nothing.
How I wish someone could have told me that my worth was not up for debate… That it couldn’t be negotiated or canceled—not even by my parents, not even by me.
How I wish I had known I mattered, and I was worthy! Because I wouldn’t have wasted even one second and certainly never an entire day away from my dream.
I still wouldn’t! But I don’t always remember I’m worthy… Sometimes I feel like I have to prove it all again; can you relate?
I convince myself that it’s time to fall back into some doing, plus more doing, plus more and more and more doing, until all that can do, in me, is exhausted, burnout (or dead). Until there’s nothing left to do because there’s nothing left in me able to do anything. Sometimes, I feel like I need to check if someone still needs me, wants me, believes in me, because I’m not quite sure anymore if I’m allowed to keep breathing if no one is using me. I might be taking too much place? I might be needing too much air or food or things I don’t deserve? Because who am I to even have needs?
So yes, sometimes I debate my worth… and apparently that’s not allowed anymore. And, for once, losing a permission slip feels like deep relief.
I didn't know I mattered, so even though I knew how much my dream mattered, I believed it was meant to be carried by someone else—someone worthy.
I didn’t realize that God would not have given me a singing voice that can do nearly anything if I wasn’t meant to sing… because singing means existing! And existing was not really permitted. It was tolerated, but it was for sure not celebrated.
How often do we remember to celebrate those we love after all? Apart from birthday cards, who remembers to tell us that our presence here is the sweetest miracle of all? How often do we remember to celebrate others for breathing and how often—if ever—do we celebrate our own spark of life, our heartbeats, our ability to inhale, and the power of our love to make someone smile when they’re grieving?
I didn’t know I mattered, so why would I share my writing? Who would want to know what an unworthy girl thought, hoped or wrote? Who could it ever help or inspire? Why would it matter? I didn’t think it was a gift that could make others feel less alone, deeply acknowledged, lovingly seen.
I didn’t think my songs could charm the ears of small children and fellow artists. I didn’t think they could warm a weary heart or nourish someone else’s dreams.
* How often do we celebrate our own spark of life, our heartbeats, our ability to inhale, and the power of our love to make someone smile when they’re grieving? *
I didn’t know I mattered, so I didn’t know I was allowed to move to New York—no matter how relentlessly my entire being was begging me… I didn’t know it mattered to trust my intuition, because when you feel worthless, you have nothing to lose (not even you). I didn’t know it meant that someone, something, and at the very least my dream !! needed me to be in New York.
I didn’t know peace and agency were a birthright to be claimed and not a rare blessing that only those who are worthy get to experience.
I didn’t know I mattered so I didn’t know that the fact that my dream mattered mattered.
So now, can you see now why it is such important news to know that we are inherently worthy? No matter what we do. No matter how little, how much, how badly we do it or how well. None of this matters, but WE matter. You, me, us: we matter. That question has been answered. That case has been closed, forever.
And so now we can breathe without restriction! because we are worthy of the light of the sun, of the oxygen of the world and of all the love that is around us. Now that we know we are worthy, we can finally start the most important conversation of all: The conversation about self-creation.
The reason we were created in the first place… is to create. We are made by and of creative energy. We are meant to create. To create ourselves into a glorious and magical offering for the world.
* You, me, us: we matter. That question has been answered. *
And how do we do that?
By following our dream.
By reconnecting to our dream, no matter how deep into denial we’ve hidden it until now. No matter how long ago we decided it was to be banished from our awareness, because it was not matching the expectations of those we were surrounded by. No matter how silly or useless we have trained ourselves to label it. NO MATTER WHAT. We must choose to reconnect to our dreams right now, even if we have no idea what our dream is anymore.
The first step requires us once again to reconnect to ourselves, to our body, to our inner world, to our heart, to our breath. We must master the courage to learn how to take care of ourselves again and to meet our own needs, whether it feels like the world agrees or not! The world is on our side, we’ve just forgotten it. We filter our perceptions through the urge to defend or the impulse to attack… and we forget that the only truth down here is love. That all is either love or a call for love. That we’re all connected. That we’re one despite all of our uniqueness, and that our uniqueness is what we’re meant to offer to the whole that we’re a part of. A precious AND meaningful part of. Because we’re worthy: and we’re not allowed to doubt this part anymore.
So we learn how to take care of ourselves and to meet—instead of judging—our needs, and suddenly we see the entire world transform. We learn to take care of ourselves and we get the greatest reward… we get our self-esteem back! And very soon we even feel self-love. That’s when all of the magic of the world reaches us, through our heart, and when our dream can reveal itself through us. We can finally answer the call of a lifetime, the call of self-creation.
* The world is on our side, we’ve just forgotten it. *
We decide to take ownership of all our thoughts and witness the impact it has on our emotions. As kindness, love, compassion and joy flow out of us, we want to help and serve more and more… and we realize that we always had the map to where we’re meant to do just that:
Our dream had always been there, just waiting for us to remember, to listen, to surrender and to accept our part. Our dream was here all along awaiting us, guiding us, ready to greet us and cover us with a blanket of meaning and awe. Our dream was here then and our dream is here now, cheerful, sweet, humble and oh so powerful. Our dream is here to make us whole, and to allow us to serve the world.
* We filter our perceptions through the urge to defend
or the impulse to attack…
and we forget that the only truth down here is love. *
So dream on, my friend. You are worthy. And that means that your dream, your unique dream, your precious dream, matters more than words could ever convey.
It won’t be measured in what the ego calls success or achievements, however. It will be measured in joy. The joy it brings to others and the joy it brings to you.
Because when we find joy, we find love... And when we love? we HEAL! We heal Others. We heal ourselves. We heal the world.
That’s what our sacred dream can do.
THAT’S how much your dream matters.
Care.Check: WRITE YOUR DREAM DOWN.
And then follow it blindly, wholeheartedly, as if your life depended on it…
As if the world depended on it!
Because it does.
* Your dream was here then and your dream is here now,
cheerful, sweet, humble and oh so powerful.
Here to make you whole, and to allow you to serve the world. *
With kindness, love and light–because I truly believe they’re our most sacred offering to this world.
Always,
leo