CARE.CHECK*: What is your spark?
What is that activity that makes you forget time, worries, deadlines, what went wrong, what did not happen and what never will be? What is that door into flow that connects you with your heart, with awe, with joy, with an undeniable sense of meaning and overwhelming beauty?
What is your spark, that special blend of magic that can set your heart of fire no matter how frozen the rest of your bodies feel?
What is that sacred dream that has kept you alive all these years no matter how close to or far away from it you are to living it?
Do you know, do you remember, do you have the courage to whisper it in the safe haven of your own being?
Hello my caring friend,
How is today treating you?
What is one thing that you’re feeling deeply grateful for right now?
Can you let yourself feel it for a few seconds?
And, now, what is one thing that feels tender, vulnerable, heavy, that could benefit from the healing power of gratitude you just embodied?
We forget sometimes that we can use the energy from a part of our life experience that feels steady and nourishing to support us through the challenges we inevitably have to face in other areas. It’s called pendulating.
I’ve been reflecting again on what is fueling this impulse to create Care.Check, as I navigate my own artistic and healing journey, and as I ground in the privilege and joy to take part in the artistic and healing journey of so many other human souls.
And I believe that the source of my passion is this deep realization that we have, misguidedly, created a culture—or at least inherited a culture—that cuts us from what we need most: our deep intuition and our inspiration.
**ABOUT OUR SPARK
Have you seen the movie Soul? One of the greatest gifts from 2020 and/or Pixar… A little treasure of ingenuity, especially as it relates to linking our existence to our spark and not to our so-called purpose!
But now what’s the difference?
I believe it’s a small nuance, but a life altering one.
We’re trained to believe that we’re meant to have a purpose. That BEING is NOT enough. We must contribute and achieve. We must compensate for the oxygen and space we take. We MUST give back ten times anything we might have received at any given time. BEING is overlooked as a burden for others, that we must apologize for by pleasing our way out of life, and pay amends for by creating something great. Suggested bottom line: we came down here as an imposition—and we’ll only be forgiven if we become someone others can use and benefit from!
I’m being voluntarily provocative, but I don’t believe I’m that far off what’s written, between the lines of the purpose-driven narrative we filter our experience through.
Now, back to that idea that our spark has nothing to do with our purpose: it took me years to understand how Jerry could say that… (Jerry is the name of each and everyone of the divine counselors in charge of baby souls in the Great Before in Soul).
But it clicked last week, when I was writing to you about the impact that reconnecting with my abiding love for singing has had on me, my body, my heart, my DREAM and my experience.
Our spark is not our purpose, because our spark is not there to guide our doing on Earth. It will inspire it for sure (or more precisely for sure: IF we’re willing to listen!) but our spark is actually here for the being part of us… Our spark is here to teach us about BEING ALIVE.
Our spark is our gateway into aliveness and the compass we’re meant to hold on to on our path from birth to joy. That’s how our spark is part of our divine assignment—because our divine assignment is to bring presence and consciousness on Earth (not… stuffs).
* Our spark has nothing to do with our purpose. *
In a deeply embodied and aligned life-story, I do believe that the heroine or hero will center their experience around their spark, and that it is highly probable that their spark will inspire the way they live, up to the point of how they earn money! But that’s not why we have a spark. We have it backward—as often…
We do not have a spark in order to serve others, we serve others organically, when we follow our spark wholeheartedly.
And it makes sense, doesn’t it?
If our spark is our way into the embodiment of aliveness and our connection to a soulful state of flow, if our spark melts us into awe, a profound sense of meaning and a deep connection with beauty, if our spark allows us to be fully present in the now and to be a channel for creation, how could what comes through our spark not benefit the whole?
And when we remember that we were created by the energy that binds us through unconditional love, heals us through infinite kindness, and guides us through an ageless wisdom that cannot be taught but only experienced, through a surrendered and open body, of course we would be able to know what we’re meant for just by following the way it feels! And, OF COURSE, it would feel good, sacred, enlivening and healing.
* Our spark is our way into the embodiment of aliveness
and our connection to a soulful state of flow. *
There are no words to describe the feelings of bliss, of purpose (a purpose to being and not a purpose through doing), of timelessness, freedom and authenticity that come with a state of flow… And within our daily experience, the surest way to fall—or should I say rise?—into flow is to connect with our spark.
But how do we reconnect with our spark if we don’t remember the last time we felt joy or peace within ourselves? If we only escape time through fight or flight, or find comfort through numbing and fawning behaviors? How do we realize that we all have that spark within us and that it’s the force beating our hearts, when we were never guided on our way inward—nor allowed or invited to explore who we truly are?
Through SELF-CONNECTION.
**ABOUT SELF-CONNECTION
Self-connection is the beginning of it all. Without self-connection, there cannot be nervous system regulation, nourishing self-care, true self-trust, embodied self-love nor soulful self-creation.
Self-connection is the pillar of our lives. How we root on our side of the street, on our little corner of the world, and understand where our responsibility lies—and where we actually have no business trying to dictate what happens, nor control what’s being said or done (which includes everybody else’s psyche, body and inner world).
Self-connection is how we find our way back into the well of unconditional love and ancient wisdom that are our hearts and guts.
Self-connection is how we can become the sacred caretakers of our minds, instead of letting our unsupervised thoughts wreak havoc with our daily experience—and this beautiful world.
Without self-connection,
there cannot be nervous system regulation,
nourishing self-care, true self-trust,
embodied self-love nor soulful self-creation.
** ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CONNECTION
In spirituality, we’re taught about a life that can be either created out of egoic ways OR from soul energy. In nervous system regulation—and through polyvagal theory—we’re taught about protection vs connection, and how those two states drive how we either get trapped into automatic reactions OR how we get to choose our responses intentionally. And another way of phrasing this is that we’re constantly acting out of love OR out of fear.
Now, of course, as usual, everyone is saying the exact same thing.
Soul energy is made of love; and soul energy is what’s described as a ventral vagal state of regulation, when relating to the body.
This is when we flow with life, when we’re grounded in the present and inspired by our creativity. When we’re using our body’s wisdom just as much as our brain’s powerful machinery. It’s when we’re the observer of our thoughts, of our emotions, of what is. When we remember that we get to create our experience, right here, right now and to take care of our wounded parts—so that they don’t write a future tarnished by the past, and so that we can write for ourselves daily new beginnings leading us into our wildest dreams.
And what some call the ego, others call parts or the autonomic nervous system or simply fear.
Demonized by some, followed blindly by others, it is what protects us from the world when we forget that we’re a part of it. It is a bundle of ways we either learned by osmosis through our upbringing and culture, or adopted to survive, through the challenges that we were once too young to face or the storms that we were unequipped to weather as an adult.
But I don’t believe anymore that the choice is “connection to others” or “protection from them”. Nor is it “love of life” or “fear of it”.
I believe the shift lies within the awareness that life is created from the inside out—and never from the outside in.
It is protection from the world or SELF-connection (Self being a synonym of Soul in that setting). It is fear of what’s outside vs self-love. It is a fictional sense of self projected into the world (the ego) or a deep embodiment of the light that is the center of our being (our soul).
* Self-connection is how we find our way back into unconditional love.*
Self-connection is the way home because self-connection is the way in… and self-connection guides us back to the core of who we are. That’s where we get to open the gate for Love, Joy, Meaning and Awe to flow through us into the world, instead of riding the waves of unconscious forces of Nature—and everyone else’s ego.
Self-connection is how we can enter this chamber of our hearts through which we were created, and where our spark fuels a constant little fire that nothing—and no one—can ever touch, tame or extinguish. And our spark will source this fire of life until we transition to whatever is next—whether it is a continuum of what we call life or a return to the unmanifested.
** ABOUT CARE.CHECK AND OUR DREAMS
So my dream with creating Care.Check is to lead you back to YOUR dream!
To share my journey back to my voice, and model the best I can how we can find the rainbows hiding within our storms and hop onto them to find our way home…
To share the magic that comes from reembodiment, a surrender to our light, a reverence for our shadow, and a complete devotion to our dream.
To let the songs of my heart remind you of the songs that your heart is singing, whether you’re listening or not—and to remind you that the creator of love did not create us to suffer, but to open as a channel for creativity and love.
* Self-connection is the way home,
because self-connection is the way in.*
**** 1. Self-CREATION is fueled by Self-LOVE
But I’m also very cognizant that self-creation requires a form of radical self-love that we’ve been taught to run away from or even fear. That we’ve been told is narcissistic or selfish or unproductive or wrong. That we don’t know how to embody or reconnect to, because self-love takes first and foremost self-trust.
**** 2. Self-LOVE requires Self-TRUST
And how could we trust ourselves, when we’ve been trained to believe that there’s something inherently wrong with us, that our sources of safety and love are all OUTSIDE of us—and therefore can be taken away at any moment if we misbehave, misfeel, misthink!—and that we’re probably not enough anyway for… well, anything, and unworthy, FOR SURE, of everything else?
Even more importantly, how could we trust someone we know nothing about and that constantly mistreats us? (and: No, we shouldn’t)
This is why without self-care, there is no self-trust. Only after having proven our allyship to ourselves, can we expect ourselves to trust us. We must understand how to connect to our needs and how to meet them. We must remember what matters to us, what fuels us, what feels nourishing and safe to our systems and bodies. We must become aware of what drains us, our boundaries, our preferences, our values, our dreams. We need to be good caretakers of our inner world for our inner world to trust us.
**** 3. Self-TRUST is born through Self-CARE
And to understand what we need, plus to understand how to care for the gem and once in the history-of-the-universe-miracle we all are, we need first and foremost SELF-CONNECTION.
**** 4. Self-CARE is guided by Self-CONNECTION
So, in a beautiful virtuous cycle, self-connection is how we reconnect to the spark that will turn our dream into life. Self-connection is how self-creation can begin, blossom and turn into magic. Self-connection is the root of self-creation. Self-creation is the fruit of self-connection. It’s that sacred.
* Without self-care, there is no self-trust.*
Please take a minute today to honor your dream my dear friend, and if you don’t know what your dream is, find your way back to your spark…
Then take a few seconds to identify which step of this journey from self-connection to self-care to self-trust to self-love to self-connection needs your nurturing attention and light, for the fire that your are to warm our hearts, spirits and bodies.
* Self-connection is and how self-creation can begin, blossom and turn into magic. *
I believe in you, in your spark, and in your dream.
I believe in all that you are, WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
With kindness, love and light—because I truly believe they’re our most sacred offering to this world.
Always,
leo
* One last love note if you’re new here and wondering what is a Care.Check:
Self-care is the gateway to self-love, and self-love is the womb of self-creation.
Self-creation is how we become all that we were meant to be. How we turn our sacred dream into reality! How we embody our gifts so that we can share them with our beautiful hearts… and this extraordinary world.
THIS is why self-care matters so much. Because, ultimately, this is how we serve the world.
And to truly take care of ourselves, we need to understand ourselves—which means both our inner system and our vision of the world—deeply. We need self-connection.
Which is why we need to understand our body (our home and temple), our heart (our compass and anchor in love), our mind (our formidable assistant) and our parts (this inner family that has always lived beneath our skin and that IFS is revealing to us now).
So those weekly (newsletter) and daily (in Notes) Care.Checks are here to guide us back to our truth and intuition—while we travel this fascinating and soulful journey on Earth, together.